is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
so let's talk penis.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
