u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
