i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
