haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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