So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Im part way to drunk.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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