He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
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