Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
i just had sex bonerless
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Randomize
