I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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