The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
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