Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
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