If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
OH MY GOD I AM DYING. AS I WAS TEXTING I JUST BUMPED INTO A MOTHER FUCKING DEER. I AM SHAKING
Wait...Literally? You hit a deer...with your body?!
I PHYSICALLY RAN INTO IT. I FELT ITS WEIRD HAIR AND I EVEN APOLOGIZED CAUSE IT DINDT REGISTER THAT IT WASNT A PERSON. MORTIFIED.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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