I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
