hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
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