We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
