I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
its liver damage thursday
Randomize