State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
