shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize