I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Randomize
