whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
