I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
