No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
