My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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