I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Randomize
