We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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