you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Randomize
