yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
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