just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
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