I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
