We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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