Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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