i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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