grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
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