Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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