I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
