it hurts more in the daytime
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
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