Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
