White coat. Heels.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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