Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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