Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
