Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
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