I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
