dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
