It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
this will be a night to untag.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
