BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
