He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
