i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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