Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
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