I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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