just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
