i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
