I just pynch a tree in the face
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
