Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize