I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
