fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
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