Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
