she kept yelling 'call me bella'
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize