My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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