Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
