Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I made popcorn. Partly so the room doesn't smell like sex, and partly to apologize for the things you saw when you walked in...
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize