Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Randomize
