Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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