The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
